Processing Tragedy

How to talk about traumatic events

The senseless and horrific events surrounding yesterday’s mass shooting of schoolchildren and their teachers in Uvalde, TX have left us all with far more questions than answers.  How could anyone –and barely an adult, at that – take the lives of so many?  If children are no longer safe in their schools, then where?  As a parent, how can I protect my children wherever they may be while also providing them the freedom to learn, to play, to discover?  When will this evil, this madness, stop?  Do our elected officials even care?

 It's normal, if not expected, for us all to have difficulty managing our feelings and emotions after major traumatic events.  Anger, sadness, helplessness, confusion, and despair are all typical and often visceral reactions to unspeakable tragedy.

Tips for Coping

Here are tips for coping in these stressful and difficult times:

• Talk about it. By talking with others about the event, you can relieve stress and realize that others share your feelings.
• Spend time with friends and family. You can help one another manage and process especially challenging events.  If you have children, encourage them to share their concerns and feelings about the tragedy with you.  Encourage them to ask questions.
• Take care of yourself.  Get plenty of rest.  Exercise and eat properly.  Self-care also helps     you be present for others.
• Limit exposure to images and broadcasts of the tragedy.  Constantly watching, listening or reading news about the event may elevate stress and anxiety to unhealthy levels while perhaps leading to catastrophizing.  
• Find time for activities you enjoy. Read a book, go for a walk, catch a movie or do something else you find enjoyable. These healthy activities can help you get your mind off the disaster and keep the stress in check.
• Take one thing at a time. For people under stress, an ordinary workload can sometimes seem unbearable. Pick one important task and work on it. This is not the time for multitasking.
• Serve, help others. Helping other people can provide a sense of purpose in a situation that feels ‘out of your control.’ Small accomplishments become significant.
• Ask for help when you need it.     If you have strong feelings that won’t go away or if you are troubled for longer than four to six weeks, contact Beacon of Light, we are here to     help.

Talking with Children

Here are suggestions for parents as they communicate with children:

• Talk honestly about the incident, without graphic detail, and share some of your own feelings. Do so in a safe and familiar place.
• Encourage children and young people to talk about their concerns and express their feelings. As they share, validate these feelings and concerns.
• Limit and supervise exposure to media. Especially for children, it can be extremely difficult and unsettling to process the images and messages in news reports.
• Recognize what may be behind a young person's behavior. They may minimize their     concerns outwardly, becoming argumentative, withdrawn, or allowing school     performance to decline.
• Keep the dialogue going even after media coverage subsides. Continue to talk about     feelings and discuss actions being taken to make schools and communities safer. Ask them what they think.
• Seek help when necessary. If you are worried about a young person's reaction or have     ongoing concerns about his/her behavior or emotions, please contact Beacon of Light, we are here to help.

‍